Fatigue Makes Cowards of Us All

Above is me hanging around, waiting for the sand to settle.

I don’t like being in Iraq.  I look for small successes and enjoy myself observing the variety of new things around me, but overall the experience is not pleasant.   Of course, I am not alone in thinking this.   Few of us would stay here if we were not needed but we all need to stay until we are done.

I am writing this in my little notebook as I sit at the ADAC waiting for my flight to Anah.  I know my mood is darker than usual. I told you the frustrating story yesterday.  Today, so far, has produced no more joy.  If do not get to Anah by 1230, there is no point in going.   I will have missed the event.  That means if I am not in the air by 1130, there is no point in leaving the ground and I will bail out.  I regret to admit that I find myself hoping for that outcome.  In that case, I can go back to Al Asad and hunker down.  I can not do my job and have a perfectly good excuse for my failure.  It is only a “sin of thought”, not of deed, but I feel ashamed to think it.

Vince Lombardi said that fatigue makes cowards of us all.  He was right.  I am tired today.  Tomorrow I will do better.