Above is me hanging around, waiting for the sand to settle.
I don’t like being in Iraq. I look for small successes and enjoy myself observing the variety of new things around me, but overall the experience is not pleasant. Of course, I am not alone in thinking this. Few of us would stay here if we were not needed but we all need to stay until we are done.
I am writing this in my little notebook as I sit at the ADAC waiting for my flight to Anah. I know my mood is darker than usual. I told you the frustrating story yesterday. Today, so far, has produced no more joy. If do not get to Anah by 1230, there is no point in going. I will have missed the event. That means if I am not in the air by 1130, there is no point in leaving the ground and I will bail out. I regret to admit that I find myself hoping for that outcome. In that case, I can go back to Al Asad and hunker down. I can not do my job and have a perfectly good excuse for my failure. It is only a “sin of thought”, not of deed, but I feel ashamed to think it.
Vince Lombardi said that fatigue makes cowards of us all. He was right. I am tired today. Tomorrow I will do better.